Interest in any form of conversation is the direct result of the conditioning of the mind
A seeker approached a master who lived in extreme solitude. For tens of miles near his cave, there lived no one. “You must feel really lonely here,” the seeker said. “Now that you are here, I am lonely indeed,” the master replied. “Earlier I was rejoicing in my own company.” Silence and awareness has an intimate relationship. It plays a crucial role in correct meditation. Silence of the mind is the outcome of a good meditation and silence of the speech is the hallmark of a great meditator.
Even if you cannot be mindful, and you cannot sit down and meditate, if you at least learn to be silent, you will most certainly progress on the path. When we meditate, one of the greatest hurdles is our thoughts. Often thoughts take the form of conversations. Whatever you may have talked about in the past keeps playing back in our head while you meditate. It is an irresistible urge, the urge to talk. If you look around you will find most people are talking most of the time. The urge to talk arises directly from the restless mind. Whether such talk is useful or useless, positive or negative is subject to individual interpretation. At any point of time, the average human mind is engaging in one of the three forms of conversations.
Gross Conversations
All conversations held with others using words or gestures are gross conversations. Most of us spend the majority of our day engaging in gross conversations. This could be in the shape of writing emails, phone calls, in person conversations and the like. While a lot of what we do may be required to operate in this world, most of it may be unnecessary. Gross conversations add to the unrest of the mind. A good way to start turning inward is to reduce the number of these conversations as much as possible. Given your personal, professional and social engagements, it may not be possible for you to cut down on these a great deal immediately, but getting started with resolve will unfold the path for you step-by-step. Once you get used to staying quiet for long periods, you will experience a certain quietude of the mind. That naturally diminishes the urge to talk. Next time you want to talk about weather, politics, etc., hold the urge for it is unlikely you will gain anything out of it, and chances are that the other person is not actually listening to your point of view anyway. Most people are not really listening but simply waiting for the speaker to finish his point so they can begin theirs.
Mental Conversations
When you are not talking to someone, chances are, you are holding a communion with yourself. Thoughts when pursued are mental conversations. These do not allow your mind to rest and settle. Mental conversations are also the greatest hurdles in holding lucid sessions of meditation. We are so used to talking that when we are not talking to others, we are talking to ourselves. The unfailing sign of a restless mind is its inability to stay quiet. A mind that is brooding over matters, or a whining negative mind, a lustful passionate mind or a talkative restless mind are examples, triggers and boosters of mental conversations. The only two ways of stopping these conversations are either engaging your mind elsewhere, which is a temporary fix, or quieting your mind, which is a permanent solution. Mindfulness is the first step in putting a lid on mental conversations. Each time you find yourself holding a mental conversation, just be mindful. Ask yourself the golden question, “What am I doing right now?” A certain awareness will arise. Do not try to stop a mental conversation by instructing yourself to stop it or by curbing it. Instead, stop it either by ignoring it or by shifting your attention.
Subtle Conversations
When you are neither talking to someone nor holding a self-communion, in great likelihood, you are holding a subtle conversation. Since the mind is restless, you want to keep it engaged, almost involuntarily, just like the hyper and naughty kid the parents want to keep busy. Are you wondering what subtle conversations are? When you are not talking to anyone or to yourself but you are watching others converse, you are holding a subtle conversation. Watching television or listening to radio are examples of subtle conversations. The more restless the mind, the greater the flipping through channels. Reading a book is a more useful form of subtle conversation, because while reading, your mind listens more than processing and directly engaging in an act of learning. While meditating, sometimes conversations of other people keep playing in your head. By being a listener, you are effectively participating in that chat. That is an example of a subtle conversation too. An untamed mind must find an outlet and conversations provide exactly that. It is one of the reasons that sleep is relaxing. For, among benefits to the body, at least you are not aware of the talkative mind beyond recollection of their dreams. Is it any wonder that brain cells only get repaired during sleep?
When you are neither talking to someone nor holding a self-communion, in great likelihood, you are holding a subtle conversation. Since the mind is restless, you want to keep it engaged, almost involuntarily, just like the hyper and naughty kid the parents want to keep busy. Are you wondering what subtle conversations are? When you are not talking to anyone or to yourself but you are watching others converse, you are holding a subtle conversation. Watching television or listening to radio are examples of subtle conversations. The more restless the mind, the greater the flipping through channels. Reading a book is a more useful form of subtle conversation, because while reading, your mind listens more than processing and directly engaging in an act of learning. While meditating, sometimes conversations of other people keep playing in your head. By being a listener, you are effectively participating in that chat. That is an example of a subtle conversation too. An untamed mind must find an outlet and conversations provide exactly that. It is one of the reasons that sleep is relaxing. For, among benefits to the body, at least you are not aware of the talkative mind beyond recollection of their dreams. Is it any wonder that brain cells only get repaired during sleep?
Om Swami