Feeling loved is like sitting next to a calm ocean. It is inexplicable. You become an ocean yourself. You feel complete.
What is the most basic human desire, the one that sits at the core of humanism and humanity, the most fundamental human need, the one that can make or break your world, the one emotion that makes all the difference between feeling priceless and feeling worthless? Is it to love and feel loved? Or the feeling of being successful?
The Desire to Feel Loved:
Underneath all reactions and all emotions lies a potent desire; it is elementary, it is casual, it is atomic - you cannot break it down any further — it is the desire to feel loved.
The desire to be loved back, to be adored, appreciated, to be recognized, to be accepted by someone, the desire to just belong somewhere, to someone, is one of the strongest. People fall out, they grow out, they may even loathe the very people they had once loved; it happens, especially when they do not feel wanted the same way they did in the beginning.
Nothing hurts more than neglect. Being neglected does not only mean someone ignores you; this is only one form of neglect. When you are not accepted for who you are, when you are not appreciated for your efforts, when you are not loved for what you are, that is neglect too; you do not feel loved, and that hurts.
To feel loved is not a privilege but a basic human necessity. It is rudimentary. Unfortunately, in our world today, most are deprived of love. It is often a futile exercise to keep searching for love or to keep wanting it from someone else. Therefore, if you are not being loved by someone else, learn to love yourself. It takes a while to get to that state — to be in love with yourself, selflessly. Until then, give your love to others, to those who want it.
And then, one day, you will find yourself gazing deep into the soothing light of transformation; you will discover yourself in a deep ocean of bliss, as your heart will overflow with warmth and love, washing away all the pain and hurt life put you through, to feel loved. When you adopt compassion and serve His creation, Providence arranges for precisely what is lacking in your life. Lacking — not as you may define it, but as in what you may need.
Make Someone Feel Special:
Make someone feel special; make them feel loved. For, you will not understand what feeling loved is like, unless you make someone feel loved. Whatever your heart is ever searching for in work, in relationships, or even on your spiritual journey, is nothing but the highest, the purest expression of love. The kind where you feel like if this was the last moment of your life, you would have no regrets because your cup is full, it is spilling over from the love that has been poured into it. And it goes without saying that you naturally start brimming with love yourself because that's what you are full of, that's what you have received.
Passion about Others’ Wellbeing:
But what is another expression for love? All things considered, even if you wanted to, you cannot meet everyone, all the time. You cannot personally see and assure every vulnerable person and tell them that everything's going to be alright. Does that mean that your love is then limited to your loved ones alone or only your friends who get to see you? Not quite.
While various people want different things, what is great and priceless to someone can be ordinary and useless to others. Nevertheless, the greatest gift in my humble opinion, is to be there for someone when they need your assurance and support. This is not necessarily always done with your words or attention, but even through your work, your cause, by doing something well.
It is not easy, it requires sacrifice, strength, patience, and empathy. It requires competence too. But that is what love is. When you love what you do, when you are grateful, when you are passionate about the wellbeing of others, your actions naturally show that you care. And when you care, you make people feel okay. This is no less than a great sadhana.
Whether we serve through our work, words, resources, any which way, you are filling up someone's cup. You are making someone feel okay. That gives you a turbo boost and hastens your spiritual progress. Keep filling others' cups steadily and in return, Providence will plug your vat into an unlimited supply of love, fulfillment, and purpose.